If We’re Honest

I always tell myself I’ll blog this week. And then I don’t. Thanks for showing me grace and checking in when I actually get it done!

I live in a small town in Nebraska about 40 minutes from the house I grew up in. When I go to see my parents at that house, I drive on Highway Two in my little blue car. Pandora is streaming over the speakers – often very loudly. Sometimes that drive feels a million miles long. Sometimes I don’t even remember driving it by the time I make it home.

The other day, I heard a song by Francesca Battistelli called If We’re Honest. Initially, it was just another song that happened to play. The next time I drove into town, I heard it again. I started to think maybe there was something to be heard as the song ended and an advertisement for 89 cent large soft drinks from McDonald’s quickly diverted my attention.

If I was honest…I could definitely go for an iced tea.

It wasn’t until I heard it for the third time in two days that I started to take in some of the words. At first, I just felt like it was so fitting for the state of our nation today. For the campaign season that has so many on edge and divided, for the shattered relationships and cries out to recognize that all people are important regardless of our differences, for the people who just feel lonely and isolated… but as I’ve listened to the song more and more, as I’ve prayed through it, so many thoughts have come to mind.

Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not
Living life afraid of being caught.

psalm 40 11

If I’m honest, I don’t have it all together. I often try face my days alone, fighting to do everything by myself and prove that I’m strong enough.
If I’m honest, I judge people too harshly and try to play a role that was never mine.
If I’m honest, I get scared that I’m never going to get married, pursue that graduate degree I always talked about, or experience the fullness of life through Christ because I fall short.
If I’m honest, I would always rather eat the frozen pizza over the healthy salad.
If I’m honest…

We could go on and on, right? It’s so easy to get caught up in what the world expects us to be, the way we appear to others. We lose sight of the realness of our selves and others. Of the people who we come across who need to hear the real story – the part that makes us forgiven and chosen children of God. For it’s in our imperfections that we are truly exposed to mercy and grace. It’s in the painful honesty of our fears and failures that we lean into our Savior and his perfect strength.

Next time I want to be someone else – to be Katie: the independent and put-together young woman who knows best in every circumstance even when she doesn’t, I pray for the wisdom to experience the freedom of laying my truths at the foot of the cross. I pray for the ability to show my weakness and trust in God’s guidance and provision. I pray that I am able to come to the table with no walls up – to be honest.

Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine.
‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides.
And mercy’s waiting on the other side…
If we’re honest.

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